Funerals that you 'do yourself'

What you need to know if you are considering a 'DIY' funeral.

Who needs a funeral director anyway? How much of a funeral can you 'do yourself'?

The answer is as much or as little as you want. With preparation, forethought and resolve it is possible to make all the arrangements, fill in the legal forms and prepare the body without professionals.

There is no legal reason why you cannot do everything.

The only barriers are time and your personal emotions.

Reasons to chose to 'do it yourself':

• Cost - without using a funeral director, or limiting the use to a minimum, the cost will be far less;
• Closure - some people find that organising a funeral helps them come to terms with their loss;
• Personal preference - although funeral directors give clients what they want, some people will prefer to take all the decisions themselves and take responsibility for the final send off.

However, when understanding the complexity of a funeral, few will be able or willing to organise and execute everything.

If the death has already occurred or is imminent, then it is almost certainly too late to organise a DIY funeral.

It is better to discuss with your chosen funeral director those elements you can do yourself.

How to 'DIY'

Here are the main stages and a synopsis of what needs to be done. Detailed advice can be found in We need to talk about the funeral:

Laying out
With only simple information, you can lay out the body after death and before rigor mortis begins.

Storage
This is the most critical problem of the entire process and requires refrigeration. If the death occurs at a hospital, they may be able to look after the person for a day or two. At a care home, this is not possible as they have no refrigeration. So contact a local funeral director to rent space in their storage cabinets.

Paperwork
You will be surprised by the amount of paperwork that the funeral director completes on behalf of his or her clients.

There are several legally binding forms that must be completed for the cemetery or crematorium. These forms are available from the cemetery/crematorium office and staff there will help you to fill them in but it is time consuming.

The initial Registration is done by the family in all circumstances.

Medical Certificates
This is not the Death Certificate, it is an additional medical certification of the cause of death.

For burial, you need one of these. For cremation you need to involve two independent doctors. The hospital morgue may be able to help you locate GPs to do this, or your own GP can contact colleagues.

Payment is due to each doctor. The fees doctors charge for this is known as 'Ash Cash'.

Booking the location
When booking the time, give yourself a couple of extra days for preparation and to get the paperwork correct.

When organising the time at the crematorium or cemetery, tell the staff you are doing a family 'DIY' - they will usually be helpful but be prepared for some resistance.

If you are using a minister or officiant for the service/ceremony, ensure they are free for the slot you have at the crem or cemetery.

Transport
A large estate car or van can do the job so if necessary hire or borrow one. Make sure that you have four strong people to lift the coffin or if the person was heavy and the coffin is wooden, you may need six.

Coffin
All cemeteries and crematoria have published guidelines for the rigid sided container that they require. Accurate details are given for the dimensions and materials and you must comply with them.

Advance planning essential

If you are planning your funeral in advance you may want to consider a DIY funeral on the basis that it will be more unique and save money.

But do consider the huge, and not always welcome, responsibility you will be placing on your executor(s) and your closest family.

So you should discuss this with the person you have made your executor, and with close family members as they may not be willing to organise and carry out your funeral.

A DIY funeral entails great planning and attention to detail. So it will be worth making the plans in advance with your executor and close family members. Put these in your Lifebox along with your other funeral wishes. (SA).