Pet funerals and children

Nicci Ball gives some advice on how pet funerals can be a learning exercise for children.

Pet funerals can help children come to terms with the loss of a loved family pet.

Be honest with children and don’t avoid using words such as 'dead' or 'dying'. It is confusing for children to be told a pet has been 'put to sleep' without an explanation as they may believe the pet they love will wake up.

Express emotions

Do not be afraid to express your own feelings of loss with your child as it shows that it is natural to show emotions. And it will encourage them to grieve over the death and then move on more fully.

Planning a pet funeral service or ceremony with your child can be a constructive and cathartic experience.

Encourage them to write a poem or a piece of prose describing their feelings towards the dead pet, draw pictures and choose a memorial.

Digital memories

The family can come together in creating the memorial which marks the death of the pet. This can be anything from a simple wooden cross to mark the grave to a montage of digital photographs on a computer.

Consider starting a section in your Lifebox for your child (or other young members of your family) in which their digital memories, such as photographs of family pets, can be stored.  

Parents and young children can create a digital scrapbook together, and it can be handed over when the child understands the value of having their own digital memories properly stored online.

Helpful books

There are a number of excellent books available which can help younger children cope with the death of a family pet such as; Goodbye Mog, by Judith Kerr; Lovely Old Roly, by Michael Rosen; and Up in Heaven, by Emma Chichester Clark.

Animal welfare charity Blue Cross produces a leaflet on supporting your child through pet and equine bereavement. You can find information on this via their website.

The Dogs Trust has also produced a leaflet, Coping With The Death of Your Dog which explains the benefits of a pet funeral ceremony to help with the bereavement process.