We deserve better endings
The eulogy given by the religious officiant is too often trite and inaccurate. It is a poor way of remembering a life that is unique and special...we deserve a better end, but this requires planning.
When a religious funeral is chosen, the vicar will normally speak to family members for a few minutes to be able to describe the life of the person whose funeral service he or she is taking.
This is when family members can provide some facts and personal anecdotes.
And so a long and full life is described in a few minutes by a virtual stranger. The result is a quick run through of the major events in the departed’s life and one or two stories to add colour but often falling flat as the vicar has no idea of the context.
To reassure the grieving family, the vicar often implies that the deceased person shared a religious faith, and that Heaven thus awaits.
While this might be reassuring to some loved ones, to others it is incongruous if they know the deceased had little religious feelings.
Little wonder then that so many traditional funerals leave the mourners feeling empty...they are simply not suitable endings.
No wonder too that alternative funerals are becoming more popular. They are a more honest way of saying goodbye to our loved ones, or for our own funerals when the time comes.
How to ensure a better ending
You can ensure a more honest and accurate 'farewell to life' event (your own or that of a loved one), if you plan it in advance.
This way, time and thought can be spent on the eulogies and tributes. Facts and anecdotes that make the life unique can be included.
You can decide where you want the funeral to take place; whether it will be eco-friendly; who will attend; who should read the eulogies.
Plan the funeral now. Don’t make your funeral arrangements something that will increase the stress and despair of your loved ones, and probably not be the send off you want.
To make sure your wishes will be carried out, put them in your Lifebox. This can only be opened by your appointed second keyholder.
He or she can’t edit the wishes, so you will be more likely to have the ending you want, not the one others choose for you.